galaxyslime:

galaxyslime:

breadisticks:

galaxyslime:

swear words are illegal now. if you say one you’ll be fined.

heck

you’re on thin fucking ice

oh no

hellenhighwater:

saltofficial:

[lawyer voice] mothers and fuckers of the jury-

DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN I THINK ABOUT THIS POST??? IM IN LAW SCHOOL THIS POST IS GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE

untamedunwanted:

“You are not broken. You are simply disassembled for now whilst you build something infinite of yourself.”

— Nikita Gill, Morning Mantra

unescapable:

Me: *hands them a piece of paper*

Them: Who should I make it out to?

Me: oh, haha, no, that’s not for you to autograph. That’s the URL to my amazon wishlist, alright, bye.

constellations-and-energy:

constellations-and-energy:

Brother, out of absolutely nowhere: I put a boogie dollar down

Me: What the fuck does this mean

Him: I think so

Him: Mama’s got the nasty jam

Me: What a completely uninformative answer to my question

Him: This gig gonna slash me hips

HE ASKED HOW LAID BACK I THOUGHT HE WAS AND I SAID TOO FUCKIN LAID BACK AND HE SAID “I KNEW IT” AND SENT ME THIS FUCKING THING

I AM FURIOUS 

soft-princesa:

GIRL WHY YOU STRESSING?????? YOU THAT BITCH. YOU GOT THIS. RELAX.